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Life Wish

October 4, 2015

Driven towards extinction,
Crashing into oblivion.
Yearning for destruction
For not having lived.
Hoping that obliteration
Anesthetizes the pain
Of unconscious existence.
I am dead already.
Nevertheless I live.
The bullet —
A last ditch scream to live,
And to die before I die.
The morning sun rises
And I find that the Reaper
Is not my enemy;
She is my lover.
Her kiss wakens me
From my slumber.
Her caresses give me Meaning.
Life conjoined with Death,
Infuses my Being.
I realize that my
Death Wish is a wish
To truly and authentically
Live.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Thomas permalink
    October 4, 2015 4:01 am

    Outstanding!

  2. October 4, 2015 4:03 am

    Thank you.

  3. October 4, 2015 4:25 am

    Whether or not we are conscious of it, we at times can exhibit a profound drive towards self-destruction — a drive towards death. I became intimately aware of this in the years after the Army when I just wanted the pain to stop. Every new wound opened up the old ones until I felt that I was emotionally bleeding out. There were times that I yearned for death, taunted it. However, there was a part of me that would not allow me to cross the line. Although the cry to death was loud, I still heard that still, small voice saying “live!” In time, I came to see it was the same voice, only I wasn’t quite hearing it right.

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